Revising Together: Let’s form a Writing Group!

Revising Together: Let’s form a Writing Group!

I love returning to Chenery to touch base with you, my CFG peeps. I see from the blog how much you’ve written since we last met. Bravo! You inspire me. I can’t wait to celebrate you and your work soon! Meanwhile, keep writing those stories!

Now that you have started writing your stories, it is time we talk and learn about another side of the writing process...REVISION!

I hope you learn that you can enjoy revision. People tend to find writing fun but revision un-fun. Not so! To take a piece, spot its weak parts, cut them out, and improve what’s left can be really satisfying. Some people find they love that part of the process more, and for them, editing might make a great future career. The world needs editors just as much as it needs writers.

Follow these revision suggestions and use them every time you clean up a first draft. If you do, you will grow to be strong, confident writers.

Let’s review those suggestions:

1.       Find and fix confusing parts. Ask yourself: does this make sense? Will the reader understand what’s happening, or who’s doing what? Restate it clearly.

2.       De-fluff your manuscript. Cut out the wordy, repetitive, or unimportant parts. Condense and simplify what’s left. Cut and fix, cut and fix your way to a rock-solid, non-fluffy draft.

3.       Focus on your verbs. Make them strong (this means avoiding forms of the verb “to be” and “to have”) and keep them short (use verb forms with fewer words and fewer –ing endings). Remember, “I ate a sandwich” sounds strong, confident, and short, but “I was eating a sandwich” sounds weaker, clunkier, and less sure of itself.

4.        Remember Mark Twain’s quote about word choice, and look for lightning words, not lightning bug words. Make the thesaurus and the dictionary your best friends. But remember also that as you choose more colorful and interesting words, you don’t want to get carried away too far and choose fancy-pants words.

5.       Control time in your story. Make important moments pop, and less important moments hurry by, by controlling the flow of description. Focus your reader’s attention on the moments that matter by pouring in sensory (hearing, seeing, smelling, tasting, touching) and emotional (thoughts, feelings, fears) details.

Even the best revisers need help from other smart readers to polish their stories. We can’t always see every flaw in our work. We need smart readers and editors to help us. That’s why writers form critique groups and writing clubs. If you love writing and you want your skills to grow, see Ms. Duff about joining a writing club. She plans to start one. Lucky you, CFG! I wish my school offered a writing club when I attended fifth grade.

When you revise in groups, whether with your teacher or with classmates and friends, choose kindness. Point out the things that can be improved, the confusing parts, but sandwich them in between big slabs of kindness. Even pieces with many problems have strengths you can praise. Make the effort to find what is working, and praise it up. Too much criticism can crush a developing writer’s confidence. Praise is the magic that fosters belief in a hopeful writer’s mind. When I was your age, I showed my sister Sally an essay I’d written for school. She read it and told me, very seriously, “This is very good, Julie. Maybe you’ll be a writer someday.”

Sally’s encouragement kindled belief and hope in my heart. I never forgot it. The encouragement, excitement, and belief others show for my words still keeps me writing. I mean others like you, CFG! Did you realize that your belief in me keeps me writing, too? 

So remember this. Always, even when it’s hard to do, find things to praise when you review someone’s work. Was there a funny joke? A strong description? Snappy dialogue? A clever idea? A spooky scene, a scary villain, a likable character, a vivid image? Be generous and kind. Make your critique sandwich look like this:

PRAISE LOVE ENCOURAGEMENT PRAISE

[here are things to maybe fix]

PRAISE LOVE ENCOURAGEMENT PRAISE

Have fun, write lots, revise lots, and give kind and thoughtful critiques so you can receive them in return. You can do it, CFG. I see your writing. Your talent, skill, and style keeps growing. Strong readers, creative writers, smart learners, and good listeners like you can grow to be writers and editors someday. I hope so, because I want to read your books. And I want you to edit my manuscripts someday. It could happen! Wouldn’t we get a kick out of that?

Your revision prompts:

1.       Eat a sandwich.

2.       Join a writing group.

3.       Always be kind.

4.       Look for ways to encourage a friend to keep on writing, drawing, dancing, creating, singing.

5.       Try to apply the techniques we practiced to your stories. After you’ve done so, comment on this post and tell me, how do you feel about your manuscript now? Does it feel stronger? Compare your excitement about your piece now to your excitement before your revised it.

When writing a story grabs you

Imagine yourself hiking along an outdoor trail. Your path leads you alongside a peaceful lake. As you walk, you notice the sunlight glint off the water while tiny fish dart through the rippling shallows. Paddling ducks quack to their ducklings. The pine tree-scented breeze is light on your face, and it ruffles your hair. You reach into your knapsack for a handful of GORP (that’s “Good Old Raisins and Peanuts,” a.k.a. trail mix) to chew on as you walk along this scenic trail. Your GORP contains M&M’s (you lucky thing, you!) and you eat them first because, contrary to what we’ve all been taught, they actually can melt in your hand.

There you are, walking, munching, enjoying the view without a care in the world, when suddenly something wet, slimy, and irresistibly strong coils itself around your bare calf muscle and yanks you off your feet. Your GORP falls to the ground, but raisins and M&Ms scarcely matter as you dangle over the surface, staring into the gigantic eyeball of the murky creature just beneath the water that saw you hiking and snacking and decided you would make a nice afternoon snack.

You’ve been hooked. You’ve been snatched. You’re about to be sucked in.

This is how beginning to write a new story idea feels to me.

[Have you noticed I have a thing for sea monsters (See Secondhand Charm) and squids (see The Trouble with Squids)? I love slimy squooshy things with tentacles. I never get tired of them. When you get to know an author well, you’ll learn they keep on using their favorite things over and over again, much as cooks do with their favorite ingredients. My mom puts celery in everything.]

This is why I love starting a new writing project. The story starts out light and breezy, all “tra-la-la,” like a walk by the lake, and then suddenly some part of it grabs you. A new idea flashes like lightning. A crazy character takes over the show. The situation changes, and wham, you’re eye to eye with a creepy monster with a ravenous appetite.

But I have to tell you, CFG, sometimes it doesn’t happen. Sometimes I get started with an idea that I think will be *brilliant,* and you know what? The sea monster never appears. The story idea fizzles flat. It doesn’t lead to an amazing adventure. That’s a bummer, but it doesn’t mean I’m no good as a writer. It just means the squid was busy that day. Maybe he’s off on a squid playdate or at a squid doctor’s appointment. You never know.

How are you coming along, CFG, at writing your own stories? Has the sea monster grabbed you by the ankle and dragged you down into its underwater lair of excitement and danger? If so, good for you! Keep writing your way to survival. But if not, I hereby grant you permission to set that idea aside, grab a fresh piece of paper, and try something new. Maybe you’ve got an idea buzzing around in your head like a mosquito. Maybe you don’t; so then you’ll want to repeat the process of brainstorming we practiced when I visited last November to come up with an exciting new idea. All you need is a pencil, paper, and your limitless imagination. To refresh your memories, check out this little video clip:

The moral of the story, my CFG friends, is this: keep on writing, and the squid will find you.

Experienced writers learn to tempt the squid to appear. They do this by plunging their characters into dangerous situations right off the bat.  This is like wading into the water, dangling a raw fish right and calling, “Here, Squiddy Squiddy!”

 Now, I want you to notice something. Look back at the first paragraph of this post. I was being sneaky when I wrote it. I had an ulterior motive. I wanted to show you some important tricks to make your scenes come alive. I placed you in a fictional scene, hiking along a lake. To make it feel real to you, I filled the scene with sensory details. What do I mean by that? “Sensory” means “relating to the senses.” And what are your five senses? Sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch.

I used all five senses in my scene. Sight: sunlight glinting off the water, fishies darting in the shallows. Hearing: ducks quacking at their ducklings. Smell: pine-tree scented breeze. Taste: raisins, peanuts, and M&Ms melting on your tongue. Touch: a breeze in your face, M&Ms melting in your hand, and, eeew! Slimy tentacles wrapping around your ankles!

I hope those details helped you imagine yourself beside that lake. To suck your readers into your story – wait, you mean you get to be squids, too, CFG? You betcha! – use sensory details. They make your scenes vivid. They help your reader imagine themselves inside your story.

So keep on writing, CFG. Keep on packing your knapsack with snacks and setting off down new trails. Keep hoping the squid will appear, but don’t take it personally when he doesn’t. And when you write, write with all five senses alert, looking, listening, tasting, sensing, and sniffing. (In the interests of your dental health I must advise you to pack celery instead of M&Ms.)

Writing prompts:

1.       Just for fun, take a walk around the lake today. Develop a new idea, whether that’s one you’ve been thinking about or one you develop by brainstorming, and start writing.

2.       Tempt the squid to appear by making sure to add exciting action and danger to your story early on. “Here, Squiddy Squiddy!”

3.       Look at a part of your story you’ve already written. Go through a scene and look for places where you can add sensory details to make moments come alive. Add them!

4.       Draw a picture of a squid snatching a character from your story and pulling them under the water.

5.       Develop a story idea by combining squids, ducklings, and celery. Please don’t let the squids eat the duckies!

PS – I don’t want anyone to be afraid of squids in lakes really. They’re only found in the ocean, so don’t worry. When I was your age, my older brother told me that Great White sharks could actually swim through the 12-inch deep creek that ran through our backyard, by coming up the Hudson River through Lake Champlain to the St. Lawrence River to the Great Lakes, and I believed him. He owes me big time for all those nightmares.

Julie Berry comes to Chenery!

The 5th grade students (the CFGs!) had a great time with Julie Berry during her assembly and workshop sessions! Lots of creative juice flowing through the library as the students started brainstorming ideas for their stories!

Julie Berry introduces herself!

Dear Chenery Fifth Graders,

I’m writing to introduce myself.  My name is Julie Berry, and I’m a children’s book author. I live in Massachusetts, not far from Belmont, with my husband, our four sons, and our two cats. My office is never tidy, my home is always noisy, and I am extremely fond of snacks. When I’m not reading, writing, snacking, or taking care of my family, I love to sing, plant flowers and veggies, forget to weed and water them, expand my houseplant jungle, exercise, watch movies, and knit dishcloths. No joke there. I hope, before I die, to graduate to socks.

I feel incredibly lucky that I get to make books my life, and honored to spend time with readers and writers like you. Through a special program made possible by the Chenery Parent-Teacher organization, I’ll be hanging out with you a lot this year.

I’ll visit your school several times to discuss writing. I’ll come for your book fair, and for an end-of-year celebration of your creativity. But that’s only the beginning. Throughout the year we’ll communicate over this blog. I’m going to read the books you’re reading, and discuss them with you on this blog maintained by Ms. Duff in the library. I’ll publish posts about each of the titles you’re reading, and with each post I’ll suggest several creative writing prompts that you can try. I’d love to see you post some of your creative writing responses to the writing prompts. Talk with your teachers and parents, or with Ms. Duff, about how to do this.

I hope our discussions and prompts will help you realize that every great book you’ll ever hold in your hands was once nothing more than the sparkle of an idea in the mind of a writer. And you, my CFG (Chenery Fifth Grade) friends, are writers too, and your brains are so sparkly with ideas, they glow in the dark. I hope I can help you see that although writing stories will always be magical, it doesn’t have to be so mysterious that you and I can’t do it.  Reading and writing are like chocolate and coconut, like chips and salsa, like tuna fish and pickled gherkins. They go great together. (Trust me about the gherkins.)

Read lots, keep a pencil and notebook handy to jot down ideas, and hide your snacks, because I’m coming soon to get this party started along with Ms. Duff (and we all know she’s the ultimate party gal). I can’t wait to meet you.

Yours in silliness,

Julie Berry